When Verbal Abuse is Necessary

“The Spirit of the Lord spoke through me; his word was on my tongue (2 Samuel 23:2). 

When Leslie asked if I would meet her for coffee I could tell something wasn’t right. Sensing her desperation, I cleared my schedule.

“My mother is driving me crazy,” Leslie began. She took a cautious sip, testing the temperature of her cappuccino. Her manicured nails glistened against the ceramic mug. “She insists that we celebrate Father’s Day this year at my sister’s house, again.”

“What’s wrong with your sister’s house?” I inquired.

“I want to have it at my house. We had dinner at Debbie’s house last year for Father’s Day. Not to mention Thanksgiving and Easter. Mom claims it’s more convenient for everyone, but I know better. That’s just her way of getting even. But it’s my turn to host the next family gathering. Plus I’d really like everyone to see my kitchen renovation. I made sure the contractor would finish by June.”

Leslie paused to stir her coffee. “I’m getting sick of how perfect everyone thinks Debbie is. Perfect husband, perfect children, perfect careers. If Mom has Father’s Day there, I promise, I won’t go. My family and I will plan a little trip out of town.”

Praying for wisdom, the Lord prodded me with a scripture in Psalms 139:

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.

What does this verse have to do with Leslie’s situation? I protested in silence to the Lord.

You’ll see, the Lord whispered to my heart.

I squirmed in my chair for a moment while I gathered my nerves. Taking a deep breath, I shared the passage with Leslie.

At once, tears welled up in her eyes giving evidence that the Holy Spirit had hit the target. “It’s odd that you would mention that scripture.”

“Why’s that?” I inquired trying to hide my surprise.

“It’s Ashley.” Leslie paused to find a tissue in her purse. “I got pregnant with her when I was in high school. My parents were mortified and our relationship’s never been the same since. They were horrible to me. It was like I was the family reject. I know Debbie was sleeping with her boyfriend, too, but I was the one that shamed the family. They even tried to convince me to get an abortion. I don’t think I can ever forgive them for that.”

Leslie waited for the waitress to put our desserts on the table before she continued.

“It wasn’t so much about my pregnancy. It was the fact that my sin was so evident and caused their ‘perfect-family image’ to be shattered. If I had an abortion, everything would still be peachy keen as far as they were concerned.”

Leslie took her fork and pushed the scattered graham cracker crumbs to a neat pile on her plate and thought for a moment. “But if that scripture says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, then that means so is Ashley…even though she was born out of wedlock.”

The rejection seemed to pour out of Leslie through her streaming tears. Still too concerned about being in public, she concealed as many as she could, saving the rest for when she could find privacy.

The next time I saw Leslie, she looked like a different person. “After we had coffee the other day, the Lord set me free from anger,” she said. “I don’t think I have ever cried so much in my entire life. The scripture you shared with me pierced me.”

“And to think I almost didn’t share it with you,” I mused. “The Bible talks about how our hearts are deceitful above all things. Often, we don’t even know the cause of our emotions, we just feel the surface pain. But God knew the root of your anger. That’s why he gave you those verses in Psalms. They’re your arrows.”

“Arrows? What do you mean?”

“They’re your weapons to use against the enemy when he tries to bring rejection to you again. Whenever he lies to you and tries to tell you that you’re not worthy, you need to remind him that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.”

Satan still tries to mess with Leslie, but his plan is no longer effective. When thoughts of rejection threaten to defeat her, she gets verbally abusive with the devil, shooting scriptures at him like arrows. She also implemented a few other effective strategies. She forgave her parents and reconciled with her family. Now she volunteers in a pregnancy crisis center to help other girls overcome the rejection they face. And guess what scriptures she shares with them?

Prayer:  Dear Lord, I pray I never forget the power of Your word and its ability to defeat the enemy. Thank you for the power it has to change my life. Please search my heart and reveal to me the truth about my issues. Give me your words of truth to speak life to bring healing and wholeness to my mind, will and emotions. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Scriptures to Ponder:

• Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Philippians 4:8).
• The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life. John 6:63
• The entrance and unfolding of Your words give light; their unfolding gives understanding (discernment and comprehension) to the simple  (Psalm 119:130).
• For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12).
• The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit (Proverbs 18:21).

Questions to Ponder:

1. According to these scriptures, how powerful is the word of God?
2. How do the words that we speak and the thoughts that we think affect our life?
3. A quiver is a receptacle for holding arrows. The arrows in an archer’s quiver need to be accessible so that the archer shooting a bow can quickly extract an arrow. What are some of your ‘scripture arrows’ in your quiver?
4. How can we use scriptures as weapons like arrows?