The Cure for the Lure

The book of Proverbs has much to say about the tempting lure of seduction. Even though many of these verses address men, women can gain insight from them as well. We usually think of women as being seductive, but men can be quite seductive as well. Women typically express seduction in the way they dress and behave, but men pour on seduction with charm with words.

To illustrate, I’ll reverse the gender in Proverbs 7:21-22: “With persuasive words he led her astray; he seduced her with his smooth talk. All at once she followed him like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose”.

I can really relate to this verse. How often I was seduced with smooth talk—words I longed to hear. After several years of recovery from relationship addiction and my subsequent divorce from my first husband, I thought I had enough wisdom to make relationship decisions on my own. Honestly, I was prideful about my ability to discern a man’s intentions as well as my own ability to keep emotionally detached. I should have known—the enemy of our soul plans a surprise attack when we least expect him.

1 Peter 5:8 says, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” The devil plans his attack when we are at our weakest; he waits for an opportune time when we are not guarded. It’s the same way he tempted Jesus in the desert. The devil waited until Jesus was hungry, tired, and alone. He didn’t come to tempt Jesus when he was strong. He waited for a moment of weakness, hoping Jesus would give in. But Jesus didn’t give in to Satan’s temptations, because he kept his focus on God. I wasn’t so strong.

After my divorce, I started dating a man that I knew was wrong for me. He said he “knew the Lord,” but he hadn’t been to church in years. That should have been my first exit cue, but because the attraction was so intense, my emotions convinced me he would change. I imagined when he fell in love with me he’d want to come to church because I loved going to church. Neither ever happened. When I failed to guard my heart and made choices with my emotions, my resolve couldn’t save me. It wasn’t until I turned my decision-making authority over to God that I was able to walk in wisdom.

When we are physically starved, we will devour things that we would never touch otherwise, and we’ll even think they taste good. I remember one day when I was fasting, even my son’s chewable Flintstone vitamin that left a bitter aftertaste seemed like dessert. After eating one, I thought about consuming the whole bottle. The same thing happens when we are emotionally starved for affection. We settle for relationships we would otherwise reject.

Satan waits until we are hungry, angry, lonely, and/or tired to tempt us. He’ll leave us alone when he knows we are strong. He plans his attack when we are at our weakest. Satan tempted Jesus with bread when he was hungry and fasting in the desert. Just like he did with Jesus, he’ll leave you alone when your faith is strong and you are surrounded with friends and favor. He’ll just wait. Maybe he has left you alone for a long time. If so, use this time to put a guard on your heart.

I’ve learned to guard my heart in many ways. For one, I use the acronym HALT. I don’t make decisions when I’m Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. I shelf it until I can make a decision with a clear and focused mind, undistracted by the emotions of my flesh. Memorizing and meditating on scripture is also a great way to renew my mind and remind myself of God’s promises. I’ve made bad choices when I’ve slipped out of church, Bible study, and Christian fellowship. When we are away from the flock, the protection the shepherd provides is compromised. Plus, the wolf targets sheep that are alone. 

There are also practical things we can do to make sure we are not vulnerable to the enemy’s maneuvers. If you need more wisdom on how to steer clear of temptation, stay tuned. I’ll talk about resolve and the importance of staying occupied in my next post.