Growing up as an energetic chatty young girl, I must have driven my dad crazy. I pestered him with a million questions. With lots and lots of stories. If I heard it once, I heard it a thousand times. After taking a long puff of his Swisher Sweet cigar, a cloud of smoke and frustration would billow out together. “Chrissie, hurry up! Get to the point. You talk too much.”
My father didn’t mean to discourage me, but the enemy of my soul did. He wanted to destroy my confidence.
I can just imagine his strategy: Hmmm. A girl who thinks she has a voice? I’d better put a stop to that. And who better to use to squash my heart than someone I loved—my father.
When my dad told me I talked too much, I started to believe him. And the enemy added some flavorful accusations to my father’s impatience. Accusations like:
You have nothing important to say.
You’d better keep your mouth shut.
Nobody wants to hear your opinion because you’re unworthy and insignificant.
By the time I was in junior high, the energetic chatty girl was quiet. Reserved. Timid. Insecure. For a while at least, it looked like I was defeated. I learned to shut up before I ever had a chance to speak up.
The scoundrel starts with lies that begin at an early age. He knows that if he can convince us when we’re young that we’re worthless, we’ll carry those thoughts into adulthood and into our relationships. Once the lies are embedded in our thoughts, we accept them as truth. Satan’s aim is to make us weak and vulnerable and strangle us in bitterness.
We’ll feel comfortable with insults because they’re familiar to us. They don’t just live on the lips of people we love; they live in our head.
For a while the enemy may win. But once we unravel his plan, the tables turn! I’m glad I’m onto him now. Once I figured out his strategy, I learned to replace his lies with God’s truth. Now, the energetic chatty young girl is back. But this time…
I’m older and wiser.
I’m strong and free.
And I want you to be free, too!
What about you? Do you struggle with any of these lies from the enemy?
- I’ll never be good enough.
- My situation is hopeless.
- I’m trapped. There’s no way out.
- I’ll never get over my past.
- The terrible things they say about me must be true.
Here’s the deal. We can’t just erase bad thoughts. We have to discipline our mind to replace them. Now when I have thoughts that hinder my peace and confidence, I use CAST, a four-step process to help me eliminate trash talk and transform it into truth.
It stands for Check, Appraise, Shift and Treasure. I’ve got tons of scripture scripts that you can use to declare and defeat the lies of the enemy. When you align your tongue with Truth you will find freedom! Read all about the CAST model here.
Prayer:
Father, help me recognize Satan’s lies. Whether I recognize the actual lie or the feeling of shame, self-doubt, rejection, anxiety or fear that it produces, help me renew my mind. I pray that with your strength I’d learn how to take these thoughts captive so that I can become all that You created me to be! In Christ’s name I pray. Amen.
I struggle with my parents not supporting my voice either. They have made me feel second rate, and alone, most of my life.
I still feel to this day, their family would be perfect without me.
Thanks for sharing! I always enjoy reading your articles!
This story really hit home for me. I was raised in a home where accomplishment was measured by the praise of others. My parents revelled in the reports from my elementary school teachers of reading and comprehension skills beyond my years; however, as soon as I began to show signs of weakness in other areas of my life, I was nearly completely overlooked and criticized for not excelling. I had been creative writing since a very young age but when I expressed an interest in attending a college for journalism and broadcasting, my parents did not support this idea and instead abandoned me to working in fast food restaurants. I married young to escape my oppressive home environment. After raising three children I found myself divorced and facing decisions about my career. Once again I set off in a direction that I felt would be fulfilling. I had invested time in learning auto sales and had a vision. But once again, someone in my life discouraged me into believing I wasn’t aggressive or smart enough to be successful in that career. So I have worked at a few different types of jobs just to put food on the table. I still have dreams of writing but the damage done by so much negative feedback in my younger life always leads me to give up and choose to spend my time doing more “practical” things. Your article made me remember the little girl who had something to say, and has sparked some new life into my ambition! Thanks for the encouragement!
The enemy’s voice sounds convincing until we discover his schemes. I’m so glad you’ve been encouraged to rekindle your ambition!